First Gym Days

So I started working out last week. I went to the first "support group" on Tuesday night. I sat in the back of the room and didn't make a sound. I just took it all in. It was an introductory meeting. They told us what the meetings would be like and what to expect. Then they asked us if there were any topics of discussion that we would like for them to cover. I was DYING inside, because I have a real warped sense of humor, and there was one lady there - there is always one- that was asking everything under the sun. I was waiting for her to ask "could we have a meeting that covers rashes" while she whipped out a body part, but she spared us.

I was introduced to some easy fitness equipment on Thursday night. I rode a recumbant bike for 10 minutes, then walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes. Then I got a tour of the facilities. All the while, a stick chick who is the head of the new program I am in was talking to me non-stop, very very happy I was there. See, I am the first, and only, person to be enrolled in the "advanced" program. That means that I am obese, diabetic, high blood pressure, etc. I am "special". Gee. Can't wait until I am not qualified to be in this category! She wants me to be their poster child. She envisions success. Lady, I hate to tell you, but there is a mountain ahead of me and I just took one teeny step. Don't get ready for the finish line yet, I've got a ways to go!

She is nice, just very, very happy. I am not into happy sometimes. I dealt with it and kept my mouth shut. No outward snickering.

Friday night, guess what, I showed up at the gym on my own! I had my music. I had my headphones. I had my water bottle and I even drank it. I had my towel. I knew where to start. I pedaled that bike-to-nowhere for 15 minutes. I took a five minute break as I walked to the treadmill. I like the one where it faces out into the woods. I can pretend that I am the only one there. I can't see anyone behind me working out. I walked for 15 minutes. Becki Wilson did a 30 minute workout on her own. Film at 11. I ate half a snickers bar on the way home. HEY, I'M NOT PERFECT PEOPLE! It was good.

Saturday afternoon, Dan and I went to the gym. Again I did my bike-to-nowhere listening to Billy Joel and watching Friends on the tv. A gym with a tv. They know how to keep me there, don't they? I did my little 5 minute break, and treadded the mill for 15 minutes. Had to use some Blue Man Group to keep me going on that one. The feet hurt bad. Then Dan joined me and showed me how to do this barbaric arm thingy. I did it 10 times and took a 30 second break. Did that 3 times. Then he showed me this cable thing that frankly, I could quickly kill myself or another gym rat if I used alone. I did it, but hope and pray my fitness trainer doesn't want me doing it again. I could put more than someones eye out. It was fun being there with him. We went home. I ate no candy.

Sunday afternoon.... TADAAAAAAAAAAA I WENT BACK TO THE GYM!!! Ok, I learned NOT to go so soon after eating Sunday dinner at my mother's house. I ate healthy there, but squash and recumbant biking= gas. Not good. I forgot my headphones. I learned a big big thing. Don't forget your headphones. I was not motivated. I biked for 8 minutes. I strolled to the treadmill, my fave one, waited for granny to get off and walked for 10 minutes. I did increase my speed this time. For 2 minutes. Then I put it back.

The most very important thing I learned Sunday, a thing I will carry with me unfortunately until death: always peek around the corner in the locker room before selecting a locker to put your stuff in. No, I just barrelled into the locker room to the same locker I had used before (cause I do that) and there standing in her birthday suit was an 80 year old california raisin in all her glory, in the midst of changing out of her bathing suit. Um. Yeah. EWWWWWWWWWW. I really, really, REALLY could live just fine without having to see an old ladies hoo ha. I threw up a little in my mouth. She, Oh Confident One, just smiled and said "beautiful weather, isn't it". I mumbled "uh huh" or something illegible like that and walked out in a daze. Sweet baby Jesus. Ew. Just... ew.

I learned one final thing Sunday. I learned that I can do this. I'm gonna be ok. Bring it on, trainer Joe Cool, bring it on.