A Day of Sadness

So today we took Tad to his first funeral. It was very sad. Tad wanted to approach the casket before the service started and I took him up to the body. Dan just couldn't do it and saved our seats. Tad looked at Zach's body, asked a few appropriate questions, then he patted Zach on the chest and said, "goodbye Zach. You are my friend and I love you." Then we both cried. I walked him to our seats where he buried his head in Dan's chest and cried some more.

They showed a power point thing at the beginning of the service. It smacked me and Dan in the face with fear. There is Zach with Thomas the Tank Engine, Zach doing crafts, Zach loving butterflies, Zach in a suit going to his first dance, Zach wearing beads around his neck... so many things were similar to Tad's likes and dislikes. As Dan and I comforted Tad after the funeral when Tad asked again if he was going to die the next time he has a seizure like Zach did... "no, Tad, you won't die"... our hearts were crying out "OH MY GOSH, THAT COULD BE US, WHAT IF TAD DIES"

Tad is not going to die from his seizures. They are well under control. He has an implant and medication. He is fine.

Keep telling ourselves that. He is fine.

I cannot live without him. He is fine.

On a happier note... thanks to all who read my blog and offer words of support and encouragement.