grace and mercy

Today is saturday. Well, it is only going to be Saturday for about an hour or so. Let me tell you about today.


Today I won. Even in my losses I won.

I battled with my stupid depression today. Lost some of the battles, but I did not eat my way through them, nor did I share the misery with my family. I battled alone today, which most times is not smart, but today I knew I could handle it on my own. I did not eat through it, which is a major triumph.

Went to Merritt Island today with Tad to a book signing our friend was having at Barnes and Nobles. It was fun to see him there all official and everything. Can't tell you more than that or it might give away Christmas secrets.

On the way home, Tad wanted to stop at Dairy Queen. Normally, I would be turning in before he even asked. Today, I said no. We stopped for gas because it was $1.65, and got a better snack there that didn't sabatoge my eating plan. I won there.

I lost later when Tad wanted McDonalds fries and I bought him a large and I got a small for myself. Ate it like a madman. Didn't need it, was not hungry, but ate it all. However, it was a small, and before all this I would have gotten a large... with a coke and burger to wash it down.
No coke today, no burger. Just hi quality H2O. I won there too.

I made mistakes today. But I am forgiven. I am not eating through them. I will be cleansed by forgiveness, mercy and grace.

Mercy and grace. I am leaning towards those tats.

I plan on eating off the meal plan on Friday night. Gotta have Valeries brownie dessert creation. It will be ok. Portions. That is what makes it ok. Portions. And not eating it 7 days a week.

I miss salt. I miss salt more than chocolate ice cream. I miss my pepsi too. Wow, that stuff must have crack in it because I really really really crave pepsi.

Had mostly water for 3 weeks now, with an occaisonal orange juice and milk. Yay me.